These days, as all of us either choose not to do – or perhaps we cannot do, I no longer go out to hike some federal lands. I haven’t been out there for nearly two months. It was a long drive, but it was a drive that I enjoyed.
But right now it’s a drive that I really don’t need to take. Plus, I can walk in my neighborhood.
I can also go out onto my patio. Many of us have a deck or a balcony or a small patio which enables us to have a place to step out-of-doors.
I can escape. In years past I have done this from an apartment that had no balcony. I would pull a chair up to a window and look out at what I could see. I would put myself out beyond what I could see in front of me. I would imagine standing on a distant shore or a far away mountain top. Sometimes I would close my eyes to do this. Other times I would sit there with my eyes wide open and plan my trip down the stairs, out onto the street, and then out onto the open highway to take me to this place in my mind.
But yesterday I sat on my patio.
It was a sunny afternoon. The sun was high in the sky, and hot. I have set up a support for a beach umbrella so I can sit in its shade. Periodically I got up and walked around the greenery that we had placed in the center of the patio. A tree had stood there when we first moved in. Unfortunately, the tree was old and passed away, and we had to have it cut down. But we preserved the place and use it for flower pots and greenery.
When the Hostas bloom and the tall spikes of close-packed flowers emerge, the spot is alive with bees. And chipmunks run out onto the patio from under the cover of the broad leaves to look at me and then dash back into the shade of the leaves. They live under the rotted stump.
But yesterday it was quiet. I relaxed in the shade of my old umbrella and thought of far off places that I remember from easier times. Yes, it is an escape. And it’s a good one. It helps me look forward to a better future. A future where I can get out and go places that I have been before and to other places I haven’t been. I can look out over vistas where bear and elk roam. I can see a sea shore where the sand is hot and the waves carry the tide in and then allow it to retreat.
I look up at my umbrella. I remember backpacking it onto the beach where we would camp and wait for the sun to set and the stars to come out. The umbrella reminds me of that place. I can smell the ocean. I can hear the bubble of our pot on the small camp stove as I prepared some rice or some chicken or some other simple meal.
Later, I would carry our plates and the pot to the edge of the surf and scour them out with sand. The leftover bits of food washed away to be eaten by the sea birds and the tiny crabs Then back to my chair to sit down and look out at an unbelievable field of bright stars.
I would just sit and imagine.
JS+I